Reflections on my Trip to the U.S.

When I was about to go home to the U.S. I had mixed feelings. I very much wanted to see my family and I knew that they had looked forward to seeing me too. However, I was very into my work and it seemed that things were ready to take off. Regardless of how I felt before, I am definitely happy that I went home for a visit.

The two big events that I went home for were Cate and Mike's wedding and my and Cate's birthday. Given how far apart Cate and I have lived from one another since 2001, we seem to spend quite a few of our birthdays together. We went to Niagara Falls, walked the Cave of the Winds (I have some awesome sandals to remember it by) and rode the Maid of the Mist. It was a nice fairly relaxing birthday that I got to spend with part of my new family and more importantly my twin.

I'd like to give a shout out to Cate and Mike Dillon for an awesome wedding! I was standing at the back of the alter, watching Cate walk down the aisle and I became a little verklempt and felt a little teary-eyed. It was then that I realized that my twin sister was really a grown woman. My twin sister, whom I shared the womb with, lived with for the first 18 years of my life, and seem to share some sort of a "twin-sense" with was getting married! Other than when I get married (maybe) or when one of my children (maybe) get married, this is probably the most significant and meaningful weddings I'll ever attend. Your wedding was really nice too, Jill, but you're my older sister so it's not quite as big a jolt as when your twin ties the knot.

Between the rehearsal dinner, reception, after party, after after party, and the painful next day I think I got to talk to most of the people at the wedding. I really enjoyed seeing everyone; most of whom I hadn't seen for over a year. Before I left and while I was away I never really thought about how much I valued my friends and family. I value that when friends and family see me they see David and then they think about who I was the last time they saw me and then they talk to me; I come before all other parts of my identity. This was very refreshing because in South Africa I am first seen as white, then male, then presumed Afrikaaner (to Black South Africans) therefore, I must have money. Even some people who have seen me everyday in my village still look at me and don't yet see David, they just see Rs (South African currency is the Rand).

Throughout my time in the U.S. I noticed a lot of differences in my self. A huge difference is that I feel a lot more independent. For the first time, I felt like I was there as David Culeton, not David, Don and Deb Culeton's son. I became a lot more confident in my ability to talk to other people; I was very excited to share with others about the things that I was doing but then I realized I wouldn't learn anything. If you wander around a party just talking about yourself, you don't gain any new information. You just either gain other people's approval or indifference; neither is all that helpful.

I am more comfortable with myself and have realized that I spent a lot of time being worried about insignificant things; for example, dancing. I broke out of my shell during December break when I came to a seemingly obvious realization about dancing, it doesn't really matter what people you don't know think of you and at very least, your friends and family will be amused.

To my disappointment I noticed that I had let my ego grow a little too large. I know the work that I'm doing is good but I forgot that in the jar of life, friends and family are rocks but your work and the things that you do are only pebbles.